


Who's Your Daddy?

by EFIL4NAMXOV



Category: OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes
Genre: Boxman finds out he has a secret lovechild, But Nothing Too Bad, Family Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Reality TV Parody, Voxman Family, hijinks ensue, lots and lots of swearing, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:48:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21663205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EFIL4NAMXOV/pseuds/EFIL4NAMXOV
Summary: When an old flame of Lord Boxman's passes away, he is surprised to discover that her child is now in his custody. Boxman and his family are confronted with the possibility that she may be Boxman's child, and he never knew about it. How will the family take this revelation? What will it mean for these characters? How will they find out the truth? Read on!
Relationships: Lord Boxman/Professor Venomous
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	Who's Your Daddy?

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Good morrow, readers all! This is my first Fan-fiction posted anywhere on the Internet, and of course it will be for one of my favorite animated series of all time. I’ve been meaning to make fics about this show for quite some time, and a conversation with a friend from DeviantArt gave me the inspiration I needed.  
> This story will focus around an original character that I did not create. All credit for Maurecia’s creation — as well her mother, Adelaide — rightly goes to Toshi-The-Panda-1996. Their DeviantArt page can be viewed at this link: https://www.deviantart.com/toshi-the-panda-1996  
> O.K. K.O. is owned by Cartoon Network and Ian Jones-Quartey.

It was a quiet morning like any other at the BoxMore factory in Lakewood, MN. The odd facsimile of a family were up to their usual activities; Darrell was doing most of the physical labor around the place, Ernesto was taking care of the mountains of paperwork on his desk, Raymond and Shannon were training for their upcoming battles with the Bodega heroes, Fink was too heavily steeped in her videos game to notice the world around her, Mikayla was resting, and Jethro was Jethro.

In the main office sat Lord Boxman, one of the most notorious villains in the state. He was looking over his notes and discussing future fiendish plots with his boyfriend and partner-in-crime, Professor Venomous.

“As you may know,” Boxman said looking up from his notes at the taller man standing across from him, “We’ve been getting in a bit of a rut as of late. As such, I’d like to hash out a few ideas for how to more efficiently DESTROY THAT ACCURSED PLAZA!” He looked out his window at the Lakewood Plaza Turbo right across the street. “LOOK AT IT! MOCKING ME WITH ITS VERY PRESENCE! It’s REPULSIVE!”

Venomous let out a sigh. He could never quite wrap his head around why Boxman felt so obsessed with destroying that damned Plaza. He couldn’t complain, though; Boxman’s sheer determination at being a villain was one of the many things Venomous liked about him. “So…” Venomous cleared his throat. “What did you have in mind?”

Boxman turned his attention back to his partner. “Well, first and foremost, we NEED to upgrade the robots!”

“Agreed,” Venomous said. “Their weapons have become obsolete. I was thinking we could start outfitting them with new tech — Darrell with an ion laser, Shannon with a freeze ray… That sort of thing.”

“Oh,” Boxman said, somewhat deflated. “I was just thinking that we’d have Jethro start wearing a bowler hat, but your idea is MUCH better!”

“I don’t blame you,” Venomous said, trying to be supportive. “Bowler hats are a common accessory for villains.”

Their ruminations were disrupted by the doorbell, which Boxman had modified to be loud enough to be audible throughout the gargantuan building. Boxman grabbed a microphone on his desk. “ERNESTO,” Boxman shouted over the intercom, “See who’s at the door, would you kindly?” Ernesto looked up from the report he was just finishing up and sighed. He really had more important things to do than such a trivial matter, but he didn’t want to argue with his father.

The rotund purple robot sauntered to the front door and opened it to two people he didn’t recognize. One was a tall woman in a dark grey suit, her brunette hair in a prim bun. The other was an adorable little girl — exactly 6-to-11 years old — with an oversized pink sweater, blue jeans, pink shoes, and long, blonde hair in a ponytail. “Welcome to BoxMore,” Ernesto said in his usual chipper tone. “Are you interested in buying our robots?”

The tall woman looked the robot over. “Am I to understand that this is the residence of one Lord Boxman?”

“Indeed,” Ernesto said. “I am terribly sorry, but you need to book an appointment to see him.”

“This is not a business matter, you metal-plated buffoon!” The woman shoved Ernesto out of the way as she led the little girl through the doorway. “Take us to him immediately.”

Ernesto led the two through the cavernous building up to Boxman’s office. “He should be right through those doors,” he told the two. Feeling his work here was done, he scurried off to his desk to finish the paperwork he felt nagging at him the whole time.

The little girl looked up with anticipation as the older woman barged through the office doors to find Boxman and Venomous passionately making out on the desk. They both looked up in surprise and immediately composed themselves — though Venomous couldn’t resist asking, “Doesn’t anybody knock anymore?”

“Lord Boxman?” The older woman asked.

“That would be me,” Boxman said, still a bit miffed. “To what do I owe the dubious pleasure of your company?”

“I’m a social worker for the city,” she explained before motioning to the girl. “And this little bundle of joy is Maurecia.”

The little girl ran up to Boxman and hugged him. “I’m so excited to meet you finally!”

The social worker cast a disdainful glance toward Boxman. “Does the name Adelaide Burnley mean anything to you?”

Boxman looked like a deer in the headlights. “Y-you don’t mean…”

“I do,” the social worker said. “This is her daughter, and you’re the father.”

Boxman gasped in shock and stumbled backward, banging into his desk. The intercom mic conveniently fell onto him, and he grabbed it. “Family meeting,” he announced. “Now. URGENT!”

Before long, the entire family were gathered in Boxman’s office as the adults explained the situation.

“So, wait a minute, Daddy,” Darrell said, “This Adelaide was your girlfriend? This is the first I’ve ever heard of her!”

“Well yeah, kinda,” Boxman said. “We went out for some time, but we were never serious about it.”

“Regardless,” the social worker said, “She tragically passed away recently, and her will stipulated that Maurecia’s biological father inherit full custody — and we have every reason to believe that you, Boxman, are the father.”

“It was hard losing Mommy,” Maurecia said. “But at least I get to have a daddy like I always wanted!”

“Let me get this straight…” Venomous put a hand to his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. “For the second time, someone in this household found out that he has a long-lost lovechild with a woman he hasn’t seen nor spoken to in 6-to-11 years?”

“The similarities are uncanny,” Boxman said. “I mean, not to speak ill of the dead or anything, but I completely forgot about Adelaide after all these years.”

“That’s okay, Daddy,” Maurecia said. “Mommy told me she didn’t like you either.”

Boxman grimaced, offended. “Well doesn’t _that_ just put the cherry on the parfait?” He composed himself and addressed the child. “You seem like a nice kid and all, but right now, we don’t even know if I am your father.”

“And we intend to find out as soon as possible,” the social worker said. “And there’s only one way to do so.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Coming up on THE DAVE DILKOS SHOW!” The studio audience went crazy. Boxman sat in a chair on the stage, his face looking as if he were alone in the woods and heard a twig snap. “Could Lakewood’s most PATHETIC, WORTHLESS excuse for a villain actually be a DEADBEAT DAD? FIND OUT RIGHT NOW!”

Boxman still couldn’t believe it. There was a real chance that he was this girl’s father, and the most sophisticated way the state could think to prove this is by hauling his entire family before a trashy reality show. His robotic children stood around him, while the social worker sat with Maurecia on the right of the stage.

It wasn’t long before their host, the aforementioned Dave Dilkos, arrived on stage. He was a very imposing man, looking like a cross between a drill sergeant and a ‘90s-era professional wrestler. “Lord Boxman,” he said, “If that _is_ your real name…”

“Well, actually…” Boxman only made it that far before the host roared in his face.

“DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK, YOU WORTHLESS SACK OF ANIMAL SHIT? YOU WILL NOT FUCKING TALK BACK TO ME OR SO HELP ME COB I WILL RAM A FUCKING CHAINSAW THROUGH YOUR EAR CANAL! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”

Boxman looked up. “Y-es, I under…”

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY? I AM YOUR FUCKING GOD NOW! YOU WILL DO AS I SAY WHEN I SAY AND IF I GET EVEN HALF A REASON I CAN AND WILL FUCKING ANNIHILATE YOU, YOU SHIT-FACED FUCK-NUGGET!” Dave Dilkos cleared his throat and started to speak much more calmly. “Now, will you please tell the audience about your relationship with a miss Adelaide Burnley?”

Boxman assumed he was being tested again, so he remained silent for a few seconds.

“SPIT IT OUT, ASSHOLE! WE DON’T HAVE ALL DAY! YOU’D BETTER NOT BE WASTING MY FUCKING TIME OR I WILL GIVE YOU A TRACHEOTOMY WITH A RUSTY GRAPEFRUIT SPOON!”

As soon as he decided it was safe to speak, Boxman started. “Well, Adelaide and I met in college — w-we were in some of the same classes together, y’know, working on our respective degrees in evil science… we worked on a project together and, well, one thing led to another and we became… how do I put this… friends with benefits-ish?” The audience gasped.

“Oh, I see,” Dilkos said. “So, once you’ve had your fun with that woman, you SHAMELESSLY FUCK AND CHUCKED HER WITHOUT HAVING THE COB-DAMN COMMON COURTESY TO STICK AROUND LONG ENOUGH TO SEE HER GIVE BIRTH TO YOUR CHILD, YOU BRAINLESS FUCKING DICKHEAD!”

“It wasn’t like that at all!” Boxman started sweating. “We had a bit of an argument one night, one thing led to another, some very hurtful things were said between us, and… well… we just weren’t right for each other.”

“I’m sorry,” Dilkos said after a pause. “I was all the way over here, so I didn’t quite catch that. It almost sounded like you said you ‘weren’t right for each other.’ Really? IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE SOME KIND OF FUCKING JOKE? YOU THINK THAT LAME-ASS EXPLANATION EXCUSES YOU ABANDONING AN INNOCENT FUCKING WOMAN AND HER CHILD IN HER HOUR OF NEED, YOU SOULLESS, REPULSIVE FUCKING PUKE STAIN?”

“I do not need this.” Boxman rubbed his temples in exasperation. “Get this through your thick skull, Dave: NEITHER OF US EVEN KNEW SHE WAS FUCKING PREGNANT WHEN WE BROKE UP! Even if we did, that wouldn’t have made a difference because, after that night, she _explicitly told me_ that she never wanted to see me again! She said she wouldn’t even go to my funeral! And considering that this is the first I’m hearing of her passing AND my possibly fathering a child with her…”

“YOU’VE SAID QUITE ENOUGH, FUCK-FACE! YOU MAKE ME FUCKING SICK!”

“Listen,” Boxman said, “If it turns out that I am indeed Maurecia’s father, then I will gladly accept her into my family. Nothing would make me happier to help my own flesh and blood live up to their full potential!” The crowd let out noises of sympathy while Maurecia smiled brightly.

Darrell stood up. “I’m willing to vouch for Daddy’s character here. He did a great job raising the rest of his kids! I mean, sure he started out pretty harsh at first, what with making us compete for his affections, having us incinerated or blown up if we failed him, making us watch his propaganda all the time, and making us work like dogs in his factory, but he’s pretty nice to us now!” Darrell never stopped smiling throughout his description, oblivious to the looks of sheer horror everyone else was giving him. “And that’s not even getting into-” he didn’t get a chance to say more before Shannon and Raymond tackled him to the ground. The social worker covered Maurecia’s ears, anticipating more fighting.

“Unbelievable,” the host said. “UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE! I HAVE NEVER GROWN TO DESPISE SUCH A WRETCHED FUCKING LUMP OF COCK IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF YOU PUNK-ASS, FUCK-ASS, BITCH-ASS, PUSSY-ASS FUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING UGLY FUCK? HUH? WHAT COULD ANYONE SAY TO EVEN BEGIN SAVING YOU FROM DAMNATION?”

It’s at this point that one of Boxman’s robot children moved to the center of the stage, captivating everyone’s attention. His eyes welling up with raw emotion, he spoke loud and clear, every syllable graced with the weight his message deserved.

“I AM JETHRO.”

Just like that, the whole room had fallen to silence, awe-filled reverence present on the faces of every single person in the crowd. “Holy shit,” Dave said, slightly teary-eyed. “That-that was just beautiful.” He sniffed as he started to reevaluate everything he thought about Boxman so far. “Folks, we’ll be back after these messages.”

The commercial break came and went before they all knew it, and Dave Dilkos had returned to the stage, looking carefully at a piece of paper. “Welcome back, folks. When we last left, I was ever-so-reasonably inquiring mad scientist Lord Boxman about an old flame, and whether or not her child could be his. What I hold in my hand here is the final result of a DNA test we’d started before the show.”

Ernesto clapped his hands together with anticipation. “Don’t keep us in suspense, man! What does it say?”

“DON’T YOU FUCKING RUSH ME, YOU FAT FUCKING NERD!” Dave proceeded to backhand Ernesto into a wall. “As I was saying before I was so RUDELY FUCKING INTERRUPTED, here we have the results of the paternity test.” He turned to face the scientist and his robots. “Boxman… YOU ARE THE FATHER!” There were gasps and cheers all around. Boxman felt a tear form in his eye as Maurecia ran to him and tackled him into a hug.

“I have a family again!” Maurecia let out a joyful laugh as the robots gathered around their new sibling. “But Daddy, I have just one request.”

“Of course,” Boxman said. “Anything you want.”

Maurecia’s voice quivered slightly. “Before she left us, Mom told me she was gonna teach me how to be a villain just like her. Now that I’m your daughter, will you teach me?”

Boxman was overcome with emotion. “O-of course! Of course I will! With my guidance and my family’s protection, I promise you’ll be in good hands.”

Dave Dilkos sauntered over to the happy family as Boxman and Maurecia parted. “Gotta say, Boxman, you’re not quite the miserable piece of shit I pegged you for.” It was at that moment Boxman decided he was sick of this shit.

“At least I don’t have any DUIs,” Boxman said with a smug grin.

Broadsided, the host snarled as he got in Boxman’s face. “The fuck you just say to me, shrimp-dick?”

“You’re probably seeing two of me, so you may as well hear me twice,” Boxman barked bitterly. “STAY OFF THE ROAD, YOU FUCKING DRUNK!”

Dave Dilkos fumed. “Oh, I have FUCKING HAD IT! YOU’RE GOING DOWN, YOU FUCKING SON OF A STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!” Before the host could do anything more, he was floored by a sucker-punch to the gut. Boxman smirked, assured of himself… until Dilkos stood back up and pounded the scientist right through the floor. The host loomed over Boxman. “How’d ya like that, shit-lips?” He was then caught off guard when Darrell ran up behind him and broke a chair over his back.

Darrell grinned into the camera. “I’ve heard of giving someone the chair, but this is ridiculous!” Dave Dilkos stood back up, grabbed Darrell, and broke him over his knee, Bane-style.

Shannon readied herself, turning her hands into buzzsaws. “Hands off my family, roid monkey!” From there, it was an all-out brawl between Dave Dilkos and the entire Boxman family — with the exception of Maurecia, who gleefully watched it all unfold from the sidelines, cheering on her family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well… That could’ve gone better.” Boxman watched Professor Venomous put away the first aid kit he’d been using to tend to Boxman’s injuries when he arrived home.

“Cheer up, Boxy,” Venomous said with a small smile. “It could’ve been worse. I mean… at least it wasn’t Dr. Oz.”

“Shit, you’re right,” Boxman said. “That would’ve been WAY worse!” He stood up and exited the room to join the rest of the family for dinner. As he entered the dining room, he heard all the kids talking over each other at once, ecstatic that Maurecia was joining the family and that she’d be following in her father’s footsteps.

As the conversation died down, Fink spoke up. “So, the Disney princess wants to be a villain, huh?”

“Fink, be nice,” Venomous scolded.

“Trust me,” Darrell said, “For her, this is nice.”

“I’m just curious is all,” Fink said. “What are your special powers? Do you make people go into diabetic shock or something?”

Instead of answering verbally, Maurecia chose to demonstrate firsthand. In a flash of light, she transformed herself into an exact likeness of Fink — the only difference being that Maurecia still had her ponytail. She then spoke in a pitch-perfect impression of Fink’s voice. “Hi, I’m Fink the Hardcore Gamer! I live on a diet of Mountain Dew and Cool Ranch Doritos! Fedoras are cool! We live in a society!” Maurecia turned back into her usual form as everyone else watched in awe.

“Amazing,” Boxman said. “How did you do that?”

Maurecia turned toward her father. “I once mistook one of Mommy’s chemicals for a glass of Fresca and drank it. Now I can shape shift into any form I want!” She then demonstrated by quickly turning into everyone else at the table, one after the other — each one bearing her ponytail and eyelashes but otherwise being an exact resemblance.

“I can’t tell what’s more amazing,” Shannon said as Maurecia returned once again to her default form. “That you can shape shift like that, or that someone actually likes Fresca.” They all laughed.

Maurecia started floating above the table. “I can also levitate and read minds,” she said.

Raymond stood up just as Maurecia sat back down. “If mediocre soft drinks can make you do all that, no wonder everybody drinks so much of them!” There was more laughter.

The family’s dinner went on like normal after that. Soon enough, Maurecia found herself tuckered out from all the excitement of the day and decided to head for bed. After she put on her PJs and brushed her teeth, Boxman was in her new room, waiting to tuck her in. “Good night, Maurecia,” Boxman said as he pulled the blankets over his daughter. “Rest well, and first thing tomorrow, I’ll start teaching you how to be a villain just like Adelaide wanted.”

“Dad,” Maurecia said, “Can I ask you something?”

“You just did,” Boxman said with a cheeky grin. Not even 24 hours after meeting her, and he was already making dad jokes.

She chuckled. “What I meant was, I was thinking a lot about all those things Mr. Dilkos said about you; how much he hated you and you were repulsive and a horrible person and all… Being a villain, does that stuff ever get to you?”

“Well… yes and no,” Boxman said. “I know I’m not a good guy, so I can expect people not to like me. Still, I think it’s important for villains to at least try to keep themselves in check by holding onto some semblance of ethics. That’s what stops a villain like me from becoming an absolute monster like, say, the Joker, or Carnage, or Chris Niosi.” At that exact moment, Ernesto happened to be passing by in the hallway. He overheard these words and, for reasons no one could understand, suddenly started to feel deeply ashamed of himself.

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” Maurecia said. “Good night, Daddy.”

“Good night, Maurecia.” Boxman gave his daughter a quick kiss on the forehead before exiting the room. Boxman retired to his own bedroom, where Professor Venomous was waiting up in their king-sized bed. The taller villain looked up from his book and asked, “Coming to bed, Boxy?”

“Be right there,” Boxman said as he changed into his pajamas. He quickly joined Professor Venomous under the flannel sheets.

“I must say, Boxy,” Venomous said with a smile, “For someone who’s never had to take care of a human child before, you seem to have this situation under control.”

“It’s so nice to hear you say that,” Boxman said, “because I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT I’M DOING! I don’t know shit about taking care of an organic child! My only experience is with robots, and as Darrell so eloquently explained on Dave Dilkos’ show earlier, _I couldn’t even do that right!_ ”

The two then heard Darrell shout, “I SAID I WAS SORRY, DADDY!”

Professor Venomous turned toward his boyfriend. “Look. Nobody is ever truly prepared for parenthood until it happens. I’m sure you’ll do a good job with her. Besides, you’re talking to someone who raised Fink as his very own child for years, and even my relationship with K.O. is slowly but surely improving. I can teach you a thing or two about how to deal with kids, if you’d like.”

“Thanks,” Boxman said. “I’d really appreciate that.”

“I believe I you, Boxy. I know you got this.” Venomous gave his boyfriend a quick, chaste kiss on the lips before they both fell into a deep sleep, dreaming of what the future might hold for their family.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Toshi-The-Panda-1996 for letting me use their OCs.


End file.
